Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm experimenting with sincerity
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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