i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
