I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
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