dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
