id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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