Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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