did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
