so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
