so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
