Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
