According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
