I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Even my vagina gasped.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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