I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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