I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
