I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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