I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize