Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
