he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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