i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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