maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
