i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We have so much sex to catch up on
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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