I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
