Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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