yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
