Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i believe in u and ur pee
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
