What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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