Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
