I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
