that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
