unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
