My room smells like vodka and shame
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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