I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
