Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
