no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
