So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize