I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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