Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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