i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
