My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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