hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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