On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
