This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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