I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
