I faked an abortion last night.
false alarm. still invincible.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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