Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
