fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
