If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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