I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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