Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
