ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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