Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
