i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
