I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
