small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
