the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
