the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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