Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
