Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
