Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
