Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
