I smell stomach acid.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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