ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
high people should be assigned attendants
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize